Emotions
by Terez
Summary: Truthfully she had imagined their first time ending differently, she certainly hadn't expected to be crying in the bathroom. (IrinaXKarasuma)


**A/N: Disclaimer don't own Assassination Classroom**

 **Thoughts in italics and single quotations**

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 **Emotions**

She's not really sure how to describe everything she's feeling as he moves off of her, both gasping for breath.

He's nothing like she's ever experienced, and while truthfully she isn't surprised, the flood of emotions that follow is. He hadn't boosted of his size, though while it was impressive she's had larger. He hadn't pawed at her like some lust filled animal, clawing at her breast, pulling so hard at her body there's sure to be bruising.

She sneaks a glance over, watching his chest rise and fall as he works to control his breathing, her mind can't help but think this would be the perfect time to kill him. A small part of her scoffs in response knowing even now he'd be ready.

But she doesn't have to kill him, so it doesn't matter.

And while the act itself had been familiar every other interaction had felt new.

She had tried a line once, only to be shot down with an unamused stare and a sharp 'don't do that' effectively knocking her off kilter. She can't remember a time when she hadn't acted her way through sex, though he quickly finds a rhythm. He hadn't whispered sweet nothings in her ear or asked permission before sliding in like some sappy romantic. Instead they had grunted, moaned and panted their way though, the only words that had left their mouths had been her own cries of pleasure and names.

It's the first time she doesn't feel empty after sex.

She wonders ideally if that's what making love feels like.

"Are you alright," he asks breaking the silence, causing her to jump when his thumb brushes her check.

It takes a moment to realize she's been crying.

"Irina-" he tries again, only to be cut off.

"I'm fine!" She snaps a little harshly, wrapping the sheet around her body, trying to ignore the fact that she's never felt more exposed in her life.

"Irina" he calls again, stopping her advances out of bed when he grabs her wrist.

 _'What the hell is wrong with you'_ She silently curses herself when she instantly stiffens at the contact. She's suppose to have perfect control of her emotions, she reprimands herself and yet he has her all over the place.

''When's the last time you had sex that didn't involve killing them after?'' He asks rather bluntly.

She sits struggling to control her breathing and silently curses him. She's instantly reminded of the bridge, the moment he'd informed her that she was comprised reading through all of her tricks and false bravado.

She chooses to remain silent, not trusting her own voice and pulls out of his hold. Standing from the bed she grips the sheet tighter, eyes locked to the ground as she makes her way around the bed to the bathroom.

''When's the last time you actually enjoyed sex?'' He prods again this time igniting a response.

''Shut up!'' She shouts back slamming the bathroom door. ''Idiot, Idiot, Idiot.'' She screams in exasperation, punctuating each idiot with banging the back of her head on the door. Her shoulders shake as a strangled cry leaves her mouth, pushing off the door and slightly stumbling towards the sink. Gripping the edge of the sink for support she glances hesitantly into the mirror, her hair a mess, her eyes red and watery with black smudges of make up all over her face; this was the last thing she imagined for them post sex.

The cocky part of her dreamed he'd fall back with dopey smile, praise her mind blowing abilities and eagerly request more. She'd smile in conquest as he finally fell victim to her charm. Or maybe they'd lay in an orgasmic glow, and share a cigarette; Even though she hasn't smoked in over a year and he doesn't, the sex simply would have been that good. Then they'd go round two, and spend the rest of night screwing like bunnies.

It certainly never included her crying in the bathroom desperate to be swallowed up by the floor.

She vaguely hears him call her name again, in her elevated state it sounds so far away as she moves back into the corner of the bathroom sinking to the ground pulling her knees to her chest. _'He's going to want nothing to do with you now'_ she resolves, shoulders slumping in defeat as she presses her forehead to her knees.

relishing in the brief moment of silence before all hell breaks loose.

"What are you doing!'' She yells suddenly when he forces his way into the bathroom pulling her from the ground and holding her against his chest. ''Put me down!'' She cries out thrashing wildly at his chest, though all in a vain attempt.

Why can't he understand she wants to be left alone with what little shred of dignity she has left.

''You're not sleeping in the bathroom!" He bites out pulling his face back in an effort to avoid her flailing hands ''and knock it off!" He then lets her go, causing another shriek when she free falls for a moment before she hits the bed in a state of confusion. Peeking out from beneath the sheet she watches for a moment as he moves away from the bed to the door.

''I'm sleeping in the other room,'' he tells her before she has a chance to ask.

 _'What kind of guy just leaves a crying girl in his bed, I swear that man has no class._ ' She thinks with lips pursed in annoyance as he shut the door without another word. ''Thanks,'' she calls out quietly after a moment with a small smile the tension in her body leaving now that she's alone.

Exhaustion finally overtakes, allowing for a relatively peaceful sleep not waking until the front door shuts early in the morning, the sun barely peeking into the room. She knows the time even before she moves to check it, unsurprised when the clock shows 5:00am; right on time for his morning run.

She knows she should leave the bed, he'll be gone for at least an hour, two if he has the time, but she can't quite bring herself to move. The bed is warm and still smells of him, of them, and maybe just for moment she can pretend she hadn't ruined their night as she rests her eyes.

Truthfully she doesn't remember falling back asleep, but the door shutting again and his footsteps across the living room indicate otherwise. Then the shower turns on down the hall and she knows she has 10 minutes at most to get get cleaned up and get out of the room.

Poking her head out the door roughly eight minutes later she takes a deep steadying breath. ' _You're an assassin damnit, feelings mean nothing._ ' She resolves, determined to pretend that last night hadn't happened and that her feelings for him would have to simply go away. _'There's no way he's touching you after that freak out'_ she growls in frustration, determinately marching across the room in last nights clothes. Her stride falters though when the shower in the hall goes off, her heart skipping a beat and suddenly lightheaded; all the air seems to rush instantly from her lungs.

' _Coffee_ ' she decides, blindly stumbling to the kitchen in desperation for a distraction when red on the counter pulls her attention. She pauses for moment blinking in surprise before approaching the counter hesitantly. Her breath catches in her throat as she gingerly reaches out for the single rose, knowing it hadn't been there last night.

''You need to change,'' Karasuma calls out startling her from her musings on the rose.

''Huh?" She responds distractingly eyes widening as he stands before her in a towel.

"You can't train in that,'' he says gesturing to her skirt, before turning to head to his room for clothes. Instently she blushes at the faint scratches still littering his back. ''By the way,'' he starts, turning slightly, cutting off the view of their throes of passion. ''I didn't fight anyone for the rose but I still hope it's to your satisfaction.''

Instantly the butterflies in her stomach return ''It's perfect, thank you.''

He nods back in response turning again to his room ''now go get changed.''

''Right," she responds back, smiling fondly down at the rose when he disappears into his room _'maybe I've still got a shot in hell'_

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 **A/N: please review and share your thoughts.**


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